I want to warn you, if you don’t want to hear the truth, you may want to skip over this blog. In today’s society, we don’t celebrate abstinence as we should. Most people try to make you feel bad, or feel like something is wrong with you. I assure you, you are normal. A rare breed. Do we encourage our kids to wait for marriage?Many who claim to be saved, know what the word says about fornication, yet continue in it. We all will be held accountable for what we know. I want to talk to you about my journey. Trust me, if I can do it, there is hope for America! Lol
When I found myself single again, It was difficult. I was used to being with one person. Before marriage, I gave myself to whomever I wanted to. But, I knew better this time. I just could not see another man being with me in that way. In 2013, I made God a vow. What is a vow? It is a promise to do something. The scriptures says, “It is better to not make a vow, than make one and not keep it.” (Ecclesiastes 5:5) So, vowing to God and not keeping it makes you a liar. I was determined to be wise this time.
In my younger years, I did what I wanted. I was careless, and God protected me from alot of dangers. I could have gotten a disease that would have changed my life. It just wasn’t worth it. I looked back on all the meaningless sex I had with guys, and I wished I could take it back. We carelessly sleep around, then we wonder why we have all these soul ties with all these people. They slept with three other people before us. See how crazy it sounds??Sex is for marriage, because it is so powerful. It can cause us to stay longer in a bad relationship, or do crazy things to keep someone who does not even want us. It was purely physical. We get caught up emotionally, and they have already moved on. Let me tell you one if my stories.
I can remember this one boyfriend I had. I met him in A school. I really loved him. I didn’t have a car at the time. He ended up getting kicked out of the Navy. So I would take a Greyhound bus from Virginia to Alabama. Over 12 hour ride to see him when I could. His family was nice to me. In our relationship he got a girl pregnant. I was so hurt, because I was faithful. He took me to see her, and I was like were you high on something? But, the baby looked exactly like him. I rant and raved about it, but took him back. He ended up moving to Virginia with me. I was staying with a friend so we were on the floor.
I spent all my money taking care of him, while he did nothing. He smoked weed and drank all day. It was getting old. The last visit I had to Alabama was it for me. He went out to a club, myself, and his sister showed up there, he was all on some other woman. Yeah, I let him have it. His mother and I were so close, because our birthdays were in February. She was very honest with me. She told me, I was too good for her son. She said, he acted just like his dad, which was why they were not together. She said “When you find a good man to treat you right bring him back so I can meet him.” That was my last trip there. Sex can blind you, and have you put up with more than you should.
The word is clear about what happens when we engage in sexual activity outside of marriage. He will judge whoremongers and fornicators. (1 Corinthians 5:10) I knew if I went back out there sexually, I would get in something, I could not get out off. By the grace of God, I stayed abstinent from September 2012 to October 2018 when I got remarried. My husband was abstinent also for about five years. Yes ladies, some men can wait! Trust me, it was not easy. But, I wasn’t going to tie myself spiritually to any other man who was not my husband.
In this day and age, we need to live right. I will not talk about something I did not have to go through. It can be challenging, it has to be taken day-by-day. The flesh wants what it is used to. Being saved don’t mean you are dead. I still had those desires, but did not act on them. I had to be mindful of what I watched, and listened to. We can’t be so quick to tell someone what not to do, and we still do it. God will keep you, if you want to be kept. He did it for me. Is there someone you are tied to? Do you find it hard to shake this person from your life? Have you tried and failed several times? Keep trying! Jesu was tempted in every way, but never sinned. (Hebrews 4:15)He can help us escape temptation. Ask God to help you remain pure, and cut that soul tie.
Father in the name of Jesus,
I come to you, asking you to forgive me for committing sexual sins outside of marriage. I know that goes against your will for my life. 1 Corinthians 7:2 says, “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.” Father, I ask for you to please help me to abstain.I break every ungodly soul tie in the name of Jesus. I want to be a pure vessel for the man or woman of God you have as my spouse. If I walk in the spirit, I will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. (Galatians 5:16) I know it will be a process, but I desire to walk pleasing in your sight and not compromise. Help me to stay in your word and in prayer. In Jesus name, Amen
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