Before I knew better, I would say all kinds of things about myself. I wish I was smarter. I wished I looked like someone else. I wished I could play sports or be more “girly”. How often have we said things about yourself or people out of frustration? It grieves me to hear someone say “I’ll never get a good man or get married.” Proverbs 18:20-21 says, “A man’s stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth; From the produce of his lips he shall be filled. Life and death is in the power of the tongue, and they that love it, shall eat the fruit thereof.” Interesting huh?
We can’t allow just anything to fly out of our mouths. Saying things like, “I’m always broke”, “I’ll never get promoted”, “I can never go to school”, will keep us in those situations. I shared previously, of how I allowed fear to keep me bound from going to college for years. I had to change my mindset. How many of us can admit we are in situations because of what we have said? We get frustrated, and do not use wisdom when we are angry. The more negative our speech becomes, the more we will see the manifestation of those words.
Not only should we not speak negative things, we should not allow others to say those things over our lives. How can we say we trust God, but everytime we speak it is never anything good? Instead of saying you are broke, just say “I don’t have the money right now.” Instead of saying, I will never meet the right person, just say, “I have not met my soulmate at this time, but I’m getting closer.” We need to focus on the good in our lives. (Philippians 4:8) I am not asking us to live on denial just learn to have God’s outlook, and trust his will for our life.
The tongue is tiny, but it is powerful. Lives, marriages, and reputations have been ruined because of it. What is in our hearts will come out of our mouths. (Luke 6:45) Why would others feel comfortable coming to us with bad news? Is it because they know we will join their pity party? As followers of Christ, we are to build and encourage, no matter how difficult the situation looks. (Ephesians 4:29) Most already know how bad it looks, maybe they need a positive outlook.
Some can drain you. I have known of a person, who was always stuck in some trauma from the past. It was as if it happened yesterday ,and it happened ages ago. You have to pick your friends wisely. We should never allow someone to constantly drain us emotionally. Especially, if they will not accept our advice. Life is full of ups and down. We can’t avoid them, it is about how we handle them. If you find yourself going around the same mountain year after year, check your words. The fruit may be manifesting from your past negative confessions.
Are you constantly stuck in a negative pattern? Have you allowed others to give you negative outlooks on your situation. Have you spoken word curses over yourself due to frustrations? Ask God to help you change your mindset.
Father in the name of Jesus
I admit Lord, I have had a negative mindset on my life. In some areas, I have become frustrated, and I speak from that place. Forgive me for agreeing with the enemy. Your word says to be quick to listen, and slow to speak. (James 1:19) I ask you to help me trust you to bring change in my life. I break every word curse I spoke, or allowed others to speak over my life, or came in agreement with. Your word says you have a plan, to give me hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) I bind myself to your plans for my life. Help me to surround myself with those who will encourage me and speak life into me through your word. In Jesus name, Amen
“Do you want kids?”
“You must not like kids.”
I know what it feel like to have people ask those questions. Not even thinking, how it would make me feel. When I was first married in 2001, I was 26 years old, and stationed in Tampa, Florida at MacDill AFB. I knew I wanted two children. A boy and a girl. We tried and tried after some years, but for some reason I couldn’t get pregnant. We decided we needed to go to the doctor. I found out, that my tubes were blocked after a HSG. I also had endometriosis. We were going to go for IVF, but it was expensive. It seemed to be a long process, so we decided against it.
A surgery was planned so I could get my tubes unblocked. That was the plan. The word says, a man purposes in his heart, but it is the Lord’s plans that prevail. (Prov 19:21) After the surgery, I was at home, coming off of the medication they had me on. I asked him, did they unblock my tubes. He said, no ,they had to remove them. Immediately, I began to cry. I was devastated! The man I married, I wanted nothing more than to give him children, I felt like less than a woman of this. Some women I knew were, getting pregnant when the wind blows, I wanted children, and couldn’t have them. Little did I know, God had a plan.
In 2011, after we moved to Georgia, while my marriage was falling apart, I would discover what my purpose was. Growing up, I was the family babysitter. All of my cousins I babysat, many of them have kids. One in particular, I helped care for, Josiah. When my cousin asked me to watch him for her while she worked, I was so happy! I never had an opportunity to raise a child before. He was six weeks old at the time and is now six years old. It did my heart good to be able to watch him grow!
I then discovered that was my purpose. Even though I was never a mother physically, I was always nurturing. It felt natural to me. It really helped heal my heart and fill that void. At first, I had a hard time accepting that I wasn’t a mother, but those years of working in childcare, I had a hand teaching in countless infants and toddlers. It did my heart good. I remember them all, and love them. Being barren, does not mean you can’t bear fruit. There are many ways God can use us, in spite of not being a father or a mother. We have those in our lives who see us in a fatherly or motherly way.
Hannah, in 1 Samuel 1 prayed and wept for a child of her own. The enemy (Peninnah) taunted her and made her feel bad for not having children. Peninnah was able to have several children. Imagine the shame Hannah endured at her hands! This is why we should be mindful of how you approach someone who does not have children. There are countless reasons, some have suffered countless miscarriages, failed IVF treatments, PCOS, and other health issues. Some just don’t desire to have children, and that is their choice. Children are a blessing. (Psalm 137:3-5) Those who have them, sometimes wish they didn’t, those who don’t wish they did. God can do anything. Just because it has not happened for you as of yet, doesn’t mean it won’t, regardless of what the doctor says. God is in control!
I have learned to be content. (Phillipians 4:11) Even though I am in my 40’s if God decided to give my husband and I a miracle child or to adopt, I would be happy. ?Working with children, having my cousins around me, and my niece and nephew, has been a blessing. Don’t
ever say you are too old to have a child. Who says? Look at Abraham and Sarah. The world’s standards change every 5 minutes. 30 is the new 20! Trust God to plan your future.
Have you felt less than a woman or man because you never had children? Do you feel like it will never happen? Ask God to help you trust his plan for your life.
Father, In the Name of Jesus,
I have been devastated because I desire a child or children and it hasn’t happened. Father, you honored Hannah’s request. She was considered barren. You opened her womb and blessed her to give birth to a major prophet in the bible. I ask, for your will to be done concerning me. Your word says, you will withhold no good thing from those who walk upright before you. (Psalm 84:11) I thank you , that I can still bear fruit in other areas of my life until my promise comes. Please help me accept your perfect will in my life. In Jesus name, Amen
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