Previously we have discussed love and how if someone loves you, then they won’t hit you. Some may disagree, but if someone truly loves you, then they won’t cause you physical harm. You can’t tell me that someone loves you when they almost beat you to death or put you in the hospital. How can someone love you when you are black and blue with bruises all over your body? When you hurt, they should hurt if they truly love you.  

Romans 12:15 (ESV) says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”

I have been on both ends of the spectrum. I have been the abused and the abuser. I would let the spirit of rage overtake me and when I did not get my way, I would throw things and hit because I felt like I was losing control. God had to take me through a wilderness season where I wasn’t in control of anything in my life. I was truly at His mercy. At first, it was difficult to let go, but as I learned to trust God, I took my hands off any situation that would arise. I discovered how to use faith.

I thought that if I hit, then I could make that person do what I wanted. However, this is wrong. We can’t violate a person’s free will. Even God allows us to make choices. We can choose if we want to be saved or not. We can decide who we marry, what we eat, or what we put on. We can’t make someone stay with us if they want to leave. We aren’t dating our children but adults. We aren’t our spouses’ parents. The best thing to do is to pray because it changes things around.

Mark 11:24 (ESV) says, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

I didn’t realize that by hitting, I was making matters worse. I was that foolish woman that tore her own house down.

Proverbs 14:1 says, “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”

Who wants to be with someone that they are afraid of? Who wants to be scared to go to sleep? Imagine sleeping with one eye open because you don’t know if the person will attack you through the night.

We have to realize that control is a form of witchcraft and manipulation. Witches perform rituals and demonic acts to keep people bound to them. They place bodily fluids in their lover’s food and put cursed objects around them. Believers in Jesus Christ must not be in the same category as witches. God can deliver us and transform us into the image of His Son Jesus Christ.

Colossians 1:13 (NCV) says, “God has freed us from the power of darkness, and he brought us into the kingdom of his dear Son.”

Many people are threatened daily and it’s a life and death situation. I have talked to several women who confided in me that their spouses have put guns to their heads and said, “If you leave me, then I will kill you!” These women were terrified and chose to stay in a toxic relationship. As a result, they fall into depression and are miserable in that relationship. Years ago, I used to follow a prophet on social media. I stopped because he cheated on his wife and had a secret love child. He threatened to kill his wife if she left, so she stayed out of fear. This is so selfish because the backslidden prophet is placing his needs above his wife, not considering how she felt about everything. Imagine the pain his wife is enduring every time she gets around the other women and the love child. What thoughts are running through her mind as her husband touches her? Some people are in relationships where they have to walk on eggshells around their abuser. Anything can tick that person off and they become a target of a punching bag.

Years ago, when my ex-husband cheated on me, I flipped. I hated him and wanted him to suffer because I had given him almost a decade of my life that he threw away. I had repented later for my actions and allowed the Lord to show me my flaws. The Lord showed me that I played a part in the marriage falling apart and my ex-husband wasn’t solely to blame. God put a magnifying glass upon the violent tendencies that I had. It was a hard pill to swallow, but I surrendered my will to His. My deliverance wasn’t pretty. I cried many nights as I reflected on all the horrible things that I did. I fasted to get the spirit of rage out of my soul. I meditated on the Word of God until I knew the Word by heart. Miraculously over time, the things that ticked me off before didn’t affect me. I received comfort from the Holy Spirit as I felt His presence when I became upset, reassuring me that God would fight all my battles. Hitting isn’t the way. God was calling me to become a peacemaker, so I could truly be called a daughter of God.

Matthew 5:9 says, “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.”

Now that I am maturing in Christ, my perspective is different. I can better discern the demonic agenda that tries to destroy marriages.

Hebrews 5:14 (ESV) says, “But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.”

I live a life of prayer so I can stay sensitive to God and cautious not to grieve His presence. Violent tendencies grieve God. Don’t make the same mistakes of hitting. You don’t have time to be in jail because you have work to do. If you hit someone, you could get arrested, get on probation, and pay fines as I did. It’s not fun. Cry out for wisdom and strength. God will keep you and protect you from the enemy. Trust God to vindicate you.

Romans 12:19 says, “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”

Remember, control and manipulation are a form of witchcraft and you are not a witch so straighten up. Your assignment is bigger than you. Strive to please God and He will bless your home and relationships.